Funny SMS
FUNNY SMS

Everyone, except me, wants to become a millionaire. I want to become a billionaire.

 

I'm so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn't know I've influenced you that much!

 

Others say life is unfair. Well, it's true. Others are jealous of you. And they really should be. Wanna know why? Hmmm… coz you have a cute text mate like me.

Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?

If I were to make a dictionary:
CUTE=you;
SWEET=you;
THOUGHTFUL=you;
GOOD LOOKING=you;
GORGEOUS=you;
LIAR=me!

 

Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. That's enough bout me. How about you?

When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-years old.

 

The only person who can make her smile is a dentist.

Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart. And, I have both.

When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you can do is cry and walk away because everyone is against you, then you are the weakest link. Goodbye!

 

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose - your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!

Why do we sleep? Because we need to take a break from texting. Have a nice dream while texting.

How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second - umn … I forgot na!

Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I'll..uhm.. ah.. eh..I'm gonna miss you for sure!

Reporter: How does it feel to become a millionaire?
Millionaire: Sad, because I am not a billionaire.

While walking down the street, I heard an old man say "I've been in love with the same woman for almost 50 years now." I was touched until I heard him say "I wish she knew."

I may not be your PEPSI choice of the new generation; I may not be your COKE, only the real thing; or your NIDO, world's no. 1 but I can be your REXONA I won't let you down.

If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.

 

No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you... But I'm happier each time I send you a message 'coz I know I'll be disturbing you!

 

If they say "Good looks could kill", then please don't look at me! I don't wanna see you die!

I read on the newspaper that sending text messages causes a radiation that is cancerous. That's why I have decided to stop - to stop reading newspapers.

Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That's why.

When you are in love, you wish you were married. When you are married, you wish you were in love.

The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too. But if rain really makes all things beautiful, why doesn't it rain on you?

Whenever I hear people say something bad about you, like when they say that you are not cute enough, I would always come to your defense and say "She's trying to be one naman a!"

I hate blackout. Never mind the arson, never mind TV and stereo, never mind the internet. But if I could not recharge my cell phone so I could keep texting, that's another point. I hate blackout.

Every time I hold her hand, I feel like holding my cheek. She always slaps me on the face.

Learn to appreciate art," I told my girlfriend. She said, "How could I appreciate you, then?"

You've got sex appeal, you've got style, you've got intelligence, and you've got class. You've got the face and you've got the body but I've got the wrong number… Sorry!

We hate others for imitating us. We are irritated by their attitude.

Shoaib Malik & Sania Mirza ki mangni se sabit hua...
.
.
India
.
.
Pakistan
Ka Sala ha
Hahahaha.
GEO Malik
Phatte chuk kr geo!!!:-)

I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're a grownup, I have one question..... What happened?

A ticket collector in a train fines Rs400 for no ticket!
He charged 1st girl Rs.300 bcoz she had no ticket n she ws wearing sleevless
Rs200 to 2nd girl bcoz she had no ticket n she ws wearing sleevless & backless.
Rs 100 to 3rd girl bcoz she had no ticket n she ws wearing sleevless, backless & a mini skirt.
He charged Rs 0 to the 4th one.
.
.
y?
.
.
GOD Bless your mentality.
.

She had the ticket!

 

A small child:
Papa,
Ap Kisi Larki Ko Pyar Kerte Hain?
Father:
Haan,
Tumhari Maa Se.
Child
Bare Chalaak Hain

Ghar me Hi Chakar Chalaya Hua Hy

 

Jo log soch samjh k shadi nai krty
Wo zindgi bhar larty hein
Or jo log söch smajh k shadi karty hein
.
.
.
Hundi onna nal v kutteyan wali aa
par o dasdy nai;)

Q: What is the difference between a wife and a magnet?
A: Magnets have a positive side!

Difference between
POETRY & ESSAY:
Any word said by girlfriend is "Poetry"
&
Anything said by wife is an "Essay"!

Agar kisi pe Bharosa karo to Akhir tak
Bharosa karo
Natija Chahy Jo B Nikley
Akhir mein Ya To Apko 1 Sacha Dost Mile ga
Ya Phir 1 Acha Sabaq!

Application to the headmaster in punjabi :-
PAA G,
''Guzarish ey k mera hun school aan nu dil nai kerda,
Tusi kurian v alag ker ditian ne te sadi class wich ek vi kuri nai hagi,
Tay Madam v koi khas nai,
Hor nai te
"Kam Valiyan" e sonyan rakh lo, Bari Meherbani.
Tuada Faithfully Student

Pappu dukhi

 

Lesson of life........
Never beleive 2 persons
1) a lady with tears
2) a man with smile.....
chaho tu azma lo :)

Hamesha apni pasand k raste pr chalo,
Apne alfaz me bat kro,
Sirf wo kro jo apka dil kahe or phir daikhna 1 din saari dunia kahe gi....








Ay kanjar kise di nai manda.

A Hot Secretary came Angrily out of the Boss cabin
Colleague asked What happened?
Secretary: He asked R U free 2nite?

I said ya & the bastard gave me 50 Pages 2 type…J…

Ap ne bohet se sms me Faraz ki zillat hoti dekhi or suni lakin ap ne socha k ye konsa FARAZ hai?
Ye poet Faraz nai
Lafz Faraz ki Haqiqat hai:-

F - Fazal-u-Rehman
A - Altaf Hussain
R - Rehman Malik
A - Asfand Yar Wali
Z - Zardari

Ab samajh aya FARAZ ki itni zillat q hoti hai ?

Rona te Ohdi Aadat C,
Asi dil tey Awain laa baithey,

Oh Nakk Poonjh k chali gai,
Assi Nawan Romaal Gawa Baithey.

A new vacum cleaner salesman knocked da Door,
A lady opend it, before she could speak,
salesman rashed into da living room & emptied a Bag of Cow Shit on the Carpet,
Salesman: Madam if I'm unable 2 clean this up with My new powerful Vacum Cleaner in next 10 sec, I will Eat all this Shit..
Lady do u need chilli sauce with that ?


Salesman: Why?



Lady: Because therez No Electricty in House,

Moral: Never b Over Smart.

Jitni shiddat se mujhe zakham diye hain us ne Faraz!
Itni raftar se to






Shoiab Akhtar


B bowling nahi krta.

Jante ho,
Raat main,
Sb se ziadah maza,
kb aata hai,
Jb kisi soye hoye ko jaga kr kaha jaye

k

"Chal v kaka oas manji tey hoja"

Maine kaha k pyar main kuch b kr sakta hun "Wasi"
Us ne muskra k kaha pir hamara is dafa bijli ka bill tm dena.

Mere mrney ki khaber kisi ko mat dena Ay Dost
Mere chahne wale boht hain biryani kam parh jayegi

1 ameer larki ko school main gharib khandan pe Essay likhney ko kaha gia,

Essay: "1 gharib khandan tha baap gharib
Maa gharib,
Bachey gharib,
Khandan ma 4 noker they wo b gharib,
Car b tooti hui BMW thi,
Unka gharib Driver bachon ko usi Tooti Car mai school chor k ata tha,
Bachon k pas puraney N95 Mobile they,
Bachey hafte me sirf 3 bar hi KFC ma khate they,
Ghar mai sirf 4 2nd hand A.C they,
Sara khandan bari mushkil se aish kr rha tha.

Love Story

Wo bus stop pe khari thi, main usey dekh raha tha,
wo khari thi, main himmat kr k kareeb gia or aahista se kaha
"Chanda"!
Wo muskrai main khush ho gia,
Phir us nain 10 rupe maire hath pe rakh diye,
Maine hairat se pucha ye kia?
Wo boli "Chanda"

You know why women starts with 'W'.
because all questions start with "W".. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

A man sees a fat man
sitting in a train cabin.
Taunting, he asks:
Is this cabin for elephants only!
Fat man humbly replies:
No!Even monkeys like you can sit!

Whts ur Blood Grp?

Lt me know its urgnt .


Qki


MUNNI Ki Tabiyat Bohat Kharab Hai,


Doctor Ne Kaha Hai K Sirf


BADNAM Logo Ka Khoon Hi Chalega.:-

"sheeda":
Yar sadi Miss kendi ay k majj da milk pean nal dimagh tez hunda ay
Pappu:Gapp mardi ay yar je ay gal hondi tay majj da apna "kaka" Engineer hunda

JB kisi ka khloos dekho to us ki qadr kro,
Aur
Jb kisi ki nafrat dekho

'te laa lo jutti te paa lo lamyan'.


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